Groundhog Day

WAYNE’S WORDS
Volume 9 Number 01
Groundhog Day

OK. First off, déjà vu! I cannot believe I only wrote TWO blogs in 2014! I SUCK! I just had a lot on my mind that was not worthy of print.

This Year I WILL do more. Only if you want, of course. If you don’t, I can stick with the two-a-year format. Whatever.

Aaannnyyywwwaaayyy…

On the first of February of this year, I felt a cold sore coming on! DAMMIT! Only about the second one since my buddy Scott gave me laser therapy on my lips to fight them off! So, on the second of February (my favorite holiday!), I decided not to shave. It has been a common practice of mine to grow facial hair whenever I get a cold sore. I use the aforementioned face beaver to camouflage my condition. It works to some degree.

This cold sore only lasted about 4 days, but, on the sixth of February, I caught a cold. I hadn’t had a cold since I broke up with my girlfriend 5 or so years ago. This one was bad. I even had to take time off of work to drink Nyquil and sleep. It sucked. Needless to say, I didn’t shave while I was sick.

When I recovered, on the eleventh of February, I realized my nostrils were raw and cut up from blowing my nose for several days straight. I decided then that if the growth on my face disguised cold sores that it could do the same for my nose. I let it keep growing.

On about the fifteenth of February, my nose had cleared up. My beard was coming in somewhat decently, so I decided to keep it. It was around that same time that I realized that I started growing the face mullet on Groundhog Day! In addition, Punxsutawney Phil predicted 6 more weeks of bad winter weather. It was then that I decided to start a new tradition.

It goes thusly. Fellas, wake up on Groundhog Day and, before you shave, check the news to see what happened with Punxsutawney Phil. If he says that there will be an early spring – shave your face nice and smooth. If he says that there will be six more weeks of bad weather – grow your winter whiskers for six weeks!

It makes sense that, if six more weeks of winter are predicted, that we boys would want some nice, thick facial foliage to stay warm during that time. During the six weeks, you may trim it, shape it, let it bush out, etc. Whatever you want, just don’t shave it off. At the end of the six weeks, however, you MUST get rid of all of the facial fur to be ready for the nice warm rays of the springtime sun!

This tradition is just for fun. I’m not trying to raise awareness for any male maladies or anything. Tis not a protest. Tis just for fun. AND it is better than No-shave November, because we won’t be ruining all the Thanksgiving Dinner picks with our hideous face ferrets. Don’t worry about Valentine’s Day (if it even matters to you – not me – grrr). By that time the growth will only be 12 days old. It will be acceptable sexy scruff. What do I know? Screw it, you’re a man and you’re growing your Groundhog Day Beard. “It’s TRADITION, Honey!”

So, at the time of this posting, it has been about six weeks since The Holiday and Phil’s prognostication. Time to shave!

I decided to make it fun and recreate some famous photos while I took off the moss mask. OK. You have only seen one of the famous photos; the others are famous only to me. They are of my Dad.

Here we go!

The Last Day of The Groundhog Day Beard.

The Most Interesting Man In The World and The Most Interesting Wayne In The World.

During the Spring Shave.

Top is Dad and Me in the 80s.

  

More Spring Shave Progress.

Top is Dad and Me in his garage. In the Early 90s.

Dad - how I always remember him – in some sort of work shirt.

Me – not as good of a picture. Tis hard to do this by yourself, ya know!

Dad - strumming away.

Me – just trying to make sure my fingers seem guitar-ish!

Yes, that is the same guitar. :)

This is Dad and Me together – both clean shaven – in 2013.

Until Next Time,

Wayne

PS Yes, my Dad is still with us. All is good!