WAYNE’S WORDS
Volume 9 Number 01
Groundhog Day
Volume 9 Number 01
Groundhog Day
OK. First off, déjà vu! I cannot
believe I only wrote TWO blogs in 2014! I SUCK! I just had a lot on my mind
that was not worthy of print.
This Year I WILL do more. Only if
you want, of course. If you don’t, I can stick with the two-a-year format. Whatever.
Aaannnyyywwwaaayyy…
On the first of February of this
year, I felt a cold sore coming on! DAMMIT! Only about the second one since my
buddy Scott gave me laser therapy on my lips to fight them off! So, on the
second of February (my favorite holiday!), I decided not to shave. It has been
a common practice of mine to grow facial hair whenever I get a cold sore. I use
the aforementioned face beaver to camouflage my condition. It works to some
degree.
This cold sore only lasted about
4 days, but, on the sixth of February, I caught a cold. I hadn’t had a cold
since I broke up with my girlfriend 5 or so years ago. This one was bad. I even
had to take time off of work to drink Nyquil and sleep. It sucked. Needless to
say, I didn’t shave while I was sick.
When I recovered, on the eleventh
of February, I realized my nostrils were raw and cut up from blowing my nose
for several days straight. I decided then that if the growth on my face
disguised cold sores that it could do the same for my nose. I let it keep
growing.
On about the fifteenth of
February, my nose had cleared up. My beard was coming in somewhat decently, so
I decided to keep it. It was around that same time that I realized that I
started growing the face mullet on Groundhog Day! In addition, Punxsutawney Phil
predicted 6 more weeks of bad winter weather. It was then that I decided to
start a new tradition.
It goes thusly. Fellas, wake up
on Groundhog Day and, before you shave, check the news to see what happened
with Punxsutawney Phil. If he says that there will be an early spring – shave
your face nice and smooth. If he says that there will be six more weeks of bad
weather – grow your winter whiskers for six weeks!
It makes sense that, if six more
weeks of winter are predicted, that we boys would want some nice, thick facial
foliage to stay warm during that time. During the six weeks, you may trim it,
shape it, let it bush out, etc. Whatever you want, just don’t shave it off. At
the end of the six weeks, however, you MUST get rid of all of the facial fur to
be ready for the nice warm rays of the springtime sun!
This tradition is just for fun. I’m
not trying to raise awareness for any male maladies or anything. Tis not a
protest. Tis just for fun. AND it is better than No-shave November, because we
won’t be ruining all the Thanksgiving Dinner picks with our hideous face
ferrets. Don’t worry about Valentine’s Day (if it even matters to you – not me –
grrr). By that time the growth will only be 12 days old. It will be acceptable sexy
scruff. What do I know? Screw it, you’re a man and you’re growing your
Groundhog Day Beard. “It’s TRADITION, Honey!”
So, at the time of this posting,
it has been about six weeks since The Holiday and Phil’s prognostication. Time
to shave!
I decided to make it fun and
recreate some famous photos while I took off the moss mask. OK. You have only
seen one of the famous photos; the others are famous only to me. They are of my
Dad.
Here we go!
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| The Last Day of The Groundhog Day
Beard.
The Most Interesting Man In The
World and The Most Interesting Wayne In The World.
|
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| During the Spring Shave.
Top is Dad and Me in the 80s.
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More Spring Shave Progress.
Top is Dad and Me in his garage.
In the Early 90s.
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Dad - how I always remember him –
in some sort of work shirt.
Me – not as good of a picture.
Tis hard to do this by yourself, ya know!
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Dad - strumming away.
Me – just trying to make sure my
fingers seem guitar-ish!
Yes, that is the same guitar. :)
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This is Dad and Me together –
both clean shaven – in 2013.
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Until Next Time,
Wayne
PS Yes, my Dad is still with us.
All is good!
