Maybe I’m Just Lazy

WAYNE’S WORDS
Volume 8 Number 01
Maybe I’m Just Lazy

So, my name is Wayne and these are supposed to be my Words. Actually, they are my words. If I had plagiarized this body of “work” from someone it would just be sad. I know I haven’t done one of these things in more than a year, but what can I say? It’s not like I’m J.K. Rowling and people were clamoring for another Harry Potter installment! Is that still a relevant pop culture reference? There was no giant gasp in the world and it didn’t stop turning.

I am sure the question that my one reader (who is probably my Mom) would like to ask me is, “Why the long break?”

Who knows? I sure as hell don’t. It is not for lack of material. I even started to write a new edition back in April. I also think of all manner of things to write about while I’m driving around all day, but they never make it to the computer screen. Hell, they never even make it back into my memory. They evidently just get vaporized by the thought of some shiny object I spy. There is not that much room in my melon. If a new idea creeps in, something HAS to be dumped. I’m a 128 kilobyte man in a 60 gigabyte world.

Maybe I’m just lazy.

I will try to figure out the “why” as I type this installment. Yes, this is going to be some sort of stream of consciousness shit.

It HAS been a whirlwind of a year. Quick! Swift! Light speed!

Just before my last blog, I had gone to Wisconsin to see The Boy. He was having his ACL repaired after tearing it in gym class. I guess it was a SUPER competitive game of dodgeball or something. It was a pretty good trip, except for The Boy’s pain and subsequent grumpiness.

I guess I could have written about that. Maybe I’m just lazy.

Shortly after my last installment of this so called blog, my Mom was in the hospital off and on for a couple of months, including the major holidays. She had a mess of things go wrong. Things happened that had her ER room packed with staffers. Things happened that had her doctors admit her into the ICU. Things happened that had her doctors release then readmit her to the hospital – a couple of times. Things happened that caused her to get nearly all new blood. Things happened that, if not caught, could have meant very bad news. All of these things happening added up to several “thank God she was here or there when this or that happened” statements and, ultimately, a positive outcome. I am SURE they gave her X-Men blood!

I guess I could have written about that. Maybe I’m just lazy.

The huge highlight of the year was getting to go to Wisconsin to see The Boy’s graduation. Many laughs and tears and hugs and talks were shared. It was a really great trip! The country was beautiful, The Boy was growing (and healing), and the food was phenomenal. The music that The Boy writes, plays, records, mixes and produces was incredible. Just a multitude of goodness occurred on that trip. On my way back, I even had the opportunity to save some stranded travelers who were broken down on the roadside. As they returned to their van that I was able to repair for them, they said a heartfelt “thank you.” I smiled and said, “Don’t mention it folks. I’m with Mesilla Valley Search and Rescue. It’s what we do.” Cheesy line aside, it was a good trip.

I guess I could have written about that. Maybe I’m just lazy.

The day after I returned from Wisconsin (only shortly after Mom was totally back on her feet), another bomb was dropped. Mom’s living arrangements needed to change. Immediately. Yes, Casa de Hillbilly was going to close its doors for good. The perfect, huge, look-at-that-view, house that I was lucky enough to find for the Hillbillies to rent for practically nothing was going to become vacant. My Aunt had to move back to Kentucky - right then and right there. Super short notice was given, so I had to start scrambling. Sonovabitch! I had to find a place for Mom that was cheap enough for her to afford alone. Luckily, Mom is the Queen of Fixed Income Budgeting – she knows how much she has and can afford to pay at any given time – down to the penny. No shit! So, with no real forewarning and very little time, we found a place that works (man, we looked at some real shitholes too!) The damned place we secured for her looks like a quaint little B&B, now that Mom has it all adorned with her stuff.

I guess I could have written about that. Maybe I’m just lazy.

Then there were countless other things: this is broken, that is busted, this one is in trouble, my car gets smacked, bad news, shit storm, et cetera, et cetera and so on.

I guess I could have written about that. Maybe I’m just lazy.

As I am sitting here writing this, I have realized something. Around the time of the last edition of this internet pollution that I write, my shrink told me she was retiring! There was no way I could talk her out of it. Believe me, I tried. I guess she was just sick of my shit. Maybe she realized she couldn’t fix me and that I was her greatest professional failure. Maybe she just wanted to relax. Regardless the reasons, it was a big blow to me. She was my compass, she helped me guide and maneuver my ship through the oceans and seas and straits and canals of life. Sure, I could go to another shrink, but mine already knew everything. She already knew all of my triumphs and failings. She already knew all of my virtues. She already knew all of my sins. I had already spilled my guts to her and the thought of totally reliving the same ups and downs of 47 years of life, trying to catch another shrink up to speed, wearies me.

I guess I could have written about that. Maybe I’m just lazy.

I guess you, the reader, will have to figure out why it has been so long since I wrote a new installment. I can’t seem to read through this and figure it out.

Maybe I’m just lazy.

Until Next Time,
Wayne

PS This is what I started writing back in April.

Reality Bites

I really am tired of it. I think we all are. It is a giant influence on western civilization (how? and why? - I will never be able to fathom). It is something about which you hear just about all of your friends complain, yet they indulge. Hell, even with the entire country complaining about it, it still has huge amounts of users! Many more, it seems, than actually know who the governor of their own state is!

Reality (TV) Bites! It is ubiquitous! Inescapable! Irrefutable! It looks like it is indeed here and it is here to stay! To quote the famous, round-headed philosopher, Charlie Brown: "ARRRRRRRRGH!"

PPS Wayne’s Words has STILL outlasted Vic’s Gadget Review! Ha ha!