Positive Thoughts?

WAYNE’S WORDS
Volume 7 Number 01
Positive Thoughts?

So, this is the blog?

I don’t know what to say.

I have been busy.

I have been lazy.

Seriously, I really don’t have any real reason for not posting on this blog since…June of last year?! Wow! I suck!

• I kept telling myself I should post, but I could never really think of anything about which to write. I’m not an author.
• I would tell myself that I was disappointing readers, but I felt that the 3 or 4 people who actually read the blog talked to me everyday anyway. I’m not a star.
• When I would think of something, I asked myself who was I to be trying to deliver some sort of wisdom to people. I’m not wise.

If you can’t tell, I have been a bit down on myself for a while. Besides my normal, self-deprecating humor, I have felt pretty low.

Last year was a tough one for me. Loss of friends, economy induced cut in pay, troubles for people really close to me, etc.

I know that we all have those things with which to deal and that we actually all have negative things occurring constantly. Last year I just felt – well, I felt beat up.

Alas, ast year is gone and this year seems to be on track and maybe even a bit better track than last year. So, I figured I would sit down and type up some thoughts, but I really don’t have any right now. How about this… I will write a bit about the three bullet points above.

I know those bullet points sound quite “poor me,” but we have to admit that we all have feelings like that. They are NORMAL feelings. If one never has those types of feelings, then one is generally a pompous, arrogant ass who thinks they can do whatever they want without consequences. Then they go into politics and perpetuate their arrogance.

Bullet Point One: I’m not an author.

It is really lame for me to think that way. I may not be fancy and have countless books being read by millions of people, but I AM an author.

au·thor /ôTHər/ Noun A writer of a book, article, or report. Verb Be the author of (a book or piece of writing): "he has authored several articles on wildlife”. Synonyms: Noun writer - originator - creator - composer – scribe. Verb write – compose.

There is the proof that I am indeed an author. I write this silly little blog, don’t I? Of course I do. One can even say that it is “published.” It IS on the internet available for the planet to read. I have seen people “stoopider” than me interviewed on news programs and acquire jobs as judges on contest shows, because they were “bloggers!” I usually say, “What has THAT moron ever done? Written a blog? What a joke!” Now I realize that their notoriety gives me legitimacy. After all, blogger is just internet speak for author! (I know it actually comes from the contraction of two root words “web log” and that if we were called web loggers, people might think we were cyber lumberjacks and protest us for cutting down the virtual rainforest or something!) What I am trying to say is that, I write it, someone reads it. I AM AN AUTHOR

Bullet Point Two: I’m not a star.

I guess I actually am. As far as the blog goes, people have commented that they like reading it and can’t wait for another and that they were able to learn something or laugh about something or were at least a little bit entertained and that I should write more, etc. All of that is a kindness, but I guess it makes me a little star-like.

Outside of the blog I am a wee bit of a star and have been for a while – I guess. I’ve been in a band, on local TV, interviewed on national radio, had guest appearances on radio shows, had a morning radio show, I emcee events, etc.

Sure I don’t get paid millions and women aren’t throwing themselves at my feet and I don’t have a giant mansion and I don’t go jetting off to exotic locales, and I can still walk down the street without being recognized, etc. Sure, much of that would be nice, but even though I am a very small and faint one, to my friends and family, I AM A STAR.

Bullet Point Three: I’m not wise.

This one is a bit harder to refute. I am NOT wise. I have thoughts that are sometimes deep and sometimes said thoughts will shed light on at least one’s human condition – mine, but I’m not wise. Hell, as I age, I am finding it harder and harder to absorb new information and learn new things. That leads me to believe that I’m not even very smart. My business partner can rattle off every bit of inventory we have, its purpose, price, etc. while I am still trying to find said item on a spreadsheet.

wise /wīz/ Adjective Having or showing experience, knowledge, and good judgment: "a wise precaution". Noun The manner or extent of something. Synonyms: adjective sage - clever - sapient - judicious – intelligent. Noun manner - way - mode - fashion - method – modus.

Now that I have read the definition, maybe I AM wise. I do know that I am experienced and that is the first part of the definition! Woo Hoo! I’m Wise.

The strange thing about saying these positive things about me is that it makes me feel like I am being full of myself and like I am being a pompous, arrogant ass that is going to end up in politics.

While I may or may not be an author, a star, wise and/or more – let’s call me what I am. I’m just a regular guy tryin’ to get by.

That feels right. That feels like the perfect amount of humility. See, if I ever did become super famous, or rich, or attractive or genius… I would never want to be a narcissistic son of bitch that thinks his shit doesn’t stink. Trust me, I’ve met a lot of people like that (both super-stars and regular-walking-around-town folk) and they suck!

I never want to be like that. So, regardless of what life has in store for me, whether it is grand or mundane, I would like to stay me.

Robert Wayne Sinclair – Just a regular guy, tryin’ to get by.

Until Next Time,
Wayne