More Broken

WAYNE’S WORDS
Volume 4 Number 11
More Broken

Dammit! I guess when it rains, it really does pour. It’s like the world is crumbling around me. We all know the country is going to hell in a hand basket, as per usual. I have a dear friend who is going through the most difficult health issue one could ever face. I am still waiting on that damned motor/impeller assembly for the freakin’ dishwasher. AND now my stupid car is starting to fall apart.

I really can do nothing to help the country except vote, keep my part of the economy running and continue to my volunteer services with Search and Rescue.

As for my friend: unfortunately, all I can do is give him my support, love and prayers. I am not a doctor. I am a sales person/bawdy comedian/regular guy tryin’ to get by. Daily I send prayers and good vibes his way trying to telepathically give him the strength and will to make it through his medical ordeal. I love you, man.

So, I will address that which I actually do have some control over; my muther*%$^#@’ car! Say that last part out loud like Samuel L. Jackson and you will understand how I feel…really.

I used to have a 2000 Dodge Durango which I really loved. It was perfect for me and the cup holder was even big enough to hold my 64 ounce soda. MMMMMMM soda. The bad part about having that vehicle as my daily driver is that it had Dodge’s Magnum V8 engine in it and it drank gas like a pirate on shore leave in the Caribbean drinks rum. Problem with that is that I drive all day for a living and when gas started to creep up to four bucks per gallon, I was really starting to feel it. So, I traded the Durango in for an economical 2005 Suzuki Aerio SX which my son (not very lovingly) refers to as the soda can.

When I got the Suzuki (in 2006?), it was nice, inexpensive and barely a year old with 15,000 miles on it. Perfect. It even still had the rest of the 30K B2B warranty left and it was totally transferrable.

I drove it for a few months and it quickly started to creep up toward the 30K odometer mark of the B2B warranty. Then something broke! Warranty! Woo Hoo! The power window mechanism or switch on the front passenger side. “No, I don’t want to know how much it costs just repair it.” I should have asked. Then I would have known the hell to come.

Shortly after the 30K warranty ran out so did the cruise control. Crap! No warranty. Boo. Hiss. I grew up driving cars without cruise control - I figured I could do without it for a while. Plus, I figured I would fix it at some point since it wasn’t the whole unit that was broken, it was just the actuator.

Then toward the tail end of summer the A/C stopped working. Remember, I live in my car for most of the day and I wear a shirt and tie (and pants) because my job is one in which I need to at least look like I am a professional. Sweating all day until real fall weather arrives is not an option.

I asked a mechanic acquaintance to look at it and was told it was some damned switch on the liquid line. He said I could go get one and put it in myself. Cool.

Not Cool. If it was a Chevy or a Ford or something (like he was used to working on) you could take it off yourself, but on the Suzuki you have to drain all of the refrigerant out because the switch is under pressure. Luckily, I figured this out before Vic or I made that last turn of the wrench that probably would have ended up blowing up in our faces and blinding us or something. Come to find out (after paying to have the switch replaced), it wasn’t the switch after all – it was the compressor. F!

Now that part is on order and we sit and wait. While I was driving the car today with the windows down (because I have no A/C) the battery crapped out. Thank God IT was under full replacement warranty. This brings me to why I should have asked how much the window part cost. Had I asked, I would have had known the outrageous price of parts for the damned soda can.

• The cruise control actuator? $300!
• A whole cruise control unit? (actuators alone are actually hard to get) $660+!
• The in-line A/C switch? $100!
• The compressor? $400+!

These are only parts prices and all but the switch are at mechanic’s discount! None of these prices include the labor for replacing the parts! The whole damned car doesn’t book out for the total of these few parts! When my Mom takes her cans to the recycler she actually handles more metal than is contained in the entire make up of this car! It is a mop bucket with seats! How can the parts cost this damned much? AND all of the parts have to be ordered! None of them are stocked anywhere. You have to get them from the dealer and even the dealer has to order them. I am used to car parts that you walk into a car parts store and you say I need that and this and they go to the shelf and grab it for you and you give them your $20 for a giant hunk of iron or other metal and you go about your merry way and put it in yourself with the help of a friend and a six pack of beer!

I really think that Suzuki has some Secret Sect of Monks slowly make the parts by hand specific to the V.I.N. when (AND ONLY WHEN) the part is actually ordered. I think that these Monks start on each “as needed” part with the mining process. They actually go into a mine and dig a bucket of rock out and smelt it down to the 3 maybe 4 ounces of metal that end up in each part, then start machining from there. Hell, I bet they make the plastic from scratch too! And braiding wire by hand then coating it takes time. They are probably not Monks anyway. If they were, all of the parts would be blessed. I just didn’t want to think about small children from a 3^rd world country stuck in a sweatshop making parts for my stupid car.

I even thought about trading in the Suzuki, but (if you remember) when I got rid of the Durango, gas was approaching $4.00 per gallon! So, I got exactly 25 cents trade in allowance for the Dodge. I am still upside down in this stupid little car which is actually a great car unless something breaks then…cha-ching!

Actually, I like the car fine I am just very pissed at it right now.

If you want to really hear me bitch, ask me how my stupid American Made back feels after being out of commission for nearly a whole week because stupid Lumbar 5 decided he didn’t want to hang out with the others fellas!

Take care of yourself!

Until Next Time,
Wayne