Live & Learn

WAYNE’S WORDS
Volume 4 Number 09
Live & Learn

Well, Mr. Jingles returned my jump drive, but evidently, I forgot how to use it. Here it is nearly the end of August and all I have on record is one blog for this month. It has not really been a good blog year for me. I think I have put a few good editions in the can, but as far as staying on top of things and doing it more often – not really happening.

The other day a dear friend of mine told me that I should write something happier. I actually do not know what could be a happier topic than getting back my jump drive, but the point was well taken. Conceding that I should write a happier blog leads many (myself included) to the question – “is Wayne happy?”

Actually, I am happier than I have been in a decade.

Although my blog is often riddled with narratives of heartbreak, loss, trials and tribulations, it by no means truly indicates the current state of my happiness. To me, Wayne’s Words has transmogrified from some silly little observations about random stupid crap in life into more serious observations about random stupid crap in life.

It seems like this blog was once a place to inject some levity and humor, but it has since become more of a home for reflection and learning – for me anyway. And the only way it works for me is to type it on this screen – it is therapeutic. If I did not use this outlet in the way I do I would not be learning life lessons very well. I would still be walking into walls. When you read this blog, whether you like it or not, you are witness to my growth process - but of course you don’t HAVE to read it.

I think many of you do read this blog, because you can relate to any given installment. You may not identify with everything, hell you might not even agree with it, but if you read it and can glean something useful from it – then cool. Even if what you gather is just a snicker or a “I never thought of it that way.” I do think that blogs (that aren’t informational) are like songs. They really mean something to the songwriter and if you end up liking them then that is neato too.

I am not some guru sitting atop a mountain passing down divine lessons. And I, most definitely, do NOT see myself as such. Just as I have said about a million times, I am a regular guy, just tryin’ to get by. Sometimes, while I am trying to get by, I run headlong into a huge wall of crap. We all do. Often I hit that wall due to blindness or stupidity or naiveté or lust or greed or gluttony or… the reasons could go on. I just choose to write about the wall here to help me tear it down and learn from the bricks of crap around my proverbial feet. My hope is that you would read it and be more able to deal with your own crap walls. However, when it comes to advise or lessons (solicited or not) we often refuse to hear them or think that they apply to us. Oh, well. At least I am learning.

One thing is for sure – this blog is better for me than turning to the bottle, or drugs or other stupid behavior that I am sure I could do to numb myself or make things seem to go away. Some cool things about doing this blog compared to those other things are:

• It’s free,
• I’m not impaired,
• A bit less vomit,
• No mornings waking up and saying “who are you?”
• No police problems (yet, anyway),
• The day after I don’t feel like hammered dog crap,
• You can finish out the list from here.

So, again I say, generally I am happier than I have been in a decade and… I feel a little wiser too, since I have been lucky enough to learn from my writings in this therapeutic space, which I call a blog.

Until Next Time,
Wayne

I Hate Meeces To Pieces!

WAYNE’S WORDS
Volume 4 Number 08
I Hate Meeces To Pieces!

Well, in the immortal words of Ferris Bueller, “Life goes by pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.” Right now, the “take time to enjoy things” meaning of that quote is lost. These days, in MY life, the other meaning rings true: Life changes and it changes quickly. Life is always in a constant state of flux. I’m sure yours is and I know, indubitably, that mine is.

Sometimes life's changes seem obviously good, other times they feel clearly bad. I don't think that you actually know on which end of the spectrum any given life change is until you have had time to chronologically, psychologically and emotionally distance yourself from it. Hell, you may not even know how good or bad a change was until you are sitting in the ever-after reading through the chronicles of your life.

08-02-2010

Hell, I started the above blog several weeks ago and that was as far as I could get on it. I know it sounds stupid as all get out, but I just cannot seem to put down on the screen what I am feeling inside. It is all because of that damned jump drive being lost. It must have been my writer’s trigger; and without it I am just shooting blanks. It is so damned lame that I cannot seem to function without it. I am using the same computers, the same blogging site, the same damned mind, but without that jump drive in the mix I just sit here and stare…

Anyway, today at the office there was a ruckus in our production room. One of the designers came in to the sales room asking for one of our cameras. It seems that the wee little mouse that had recently made one of our walls his home was coming out to take bits of the D-Con we had left out for him and she wanted pictures of “Mr. Jingles.” That’s his name evidently; another mouse already took the name “Danger”. (Side bar: we don’t hate animals – we just cannot have a rodent infestation)

Several of us scrambled into production to try and catch a glimpse of Mr. Jingles. Sure as shucks, even with all of us crowded around his corner by the back door, Mr. Jingles brazenly scurried back and forth between the D-Con and his little hole. (tee hee: little hole) He even seemed to stop and pose every once in a while. We were all sooooo excited to see him. I am sure many of us also actually felt a bit bad inside knowing we were slowly killing him – even though he seemed fit as a tiny fiddle.

Then our General Manager came in! Don’t worry. He is as much of a child as the rest of us are, if not more so. Of course, he was also quite excited to see Mr. Jingles. As we all giggled and laughed at Mr. Jingles’ antics, the GM decided to go over and see if his hole (chortle) was leading outside or into the dividing wall between offices.

He took out his flashlight (yes, he always has one with him) to get a better look and was distracted by some yarn and something shiny. He bent over to grab the shiny object and held it up for all to see… it was my damned jump drive! Holy Crap! It was not two and a half feet from Mr. Jingles’ hideaway.

I was shocked. In fact, I think we were all blown away. The GM said he wanted a reward, so I pantomimed something with him that can’t be written here: just let your imagination run filthy and you will probably figure it out. We all laughed and my jump drive was returned to me.

When the jump drive was lost on June 24^th of this year (that is the last day I used it), several of us tore the offices apart. My work wife told me that she and others even looked back there and had found nothing. We pulled out desks, moved boxes, shuffled papers and anything else you can imagine and were unable to find what our GM happened upon rather easily (maybe that is why he is President of Search & Rescue). The jump drive wasn’t even really shoved up against the wall or under anything or even tucked discretely behind something. So, only one thing can be certain: my jump drive was stolen then left there so it could eventually be found.

Mr. Jingles is a jerk! I cannot believe he would take it in the first place, but to toy with me like that is just downright mean! I thought I had lost my mind and could no longer be trusted with any item smaller than a shoebox without losing it. Stupid mouse! He probably got hantavirus all over it! Little flea-ridden varmint!

Aw, whom am I kidding? I can’t be too mad at him. At least he finally returned it to me safe and sound before he died.

Until Next Time,
Wayne

PS Thanks for finding it, Vic! I owe you lunch. You like value menus, don’t you?