Volume 3 Number 26
The One?
It is very strange to me how a story about a king, that is an allegory (someone said that was the best literary term for it) about learning and becoming a better man during the course of one’s life, can lead to a comment-debate about me and women (or lack thereof). (See
You all have seen through me! Alas, I drink from the well of bachelorhood – once again.
I will clear things up. Historically women have not stayed. Hence, I AM alone. I DO NOT have anyone.
Debate settled.
-Wayne
I said that in the middle of the comments to blatantly let everyone know my “status.”
I know why, in almost every case, I have been left. After the subsequent depression, I take that information and try to learn from it. Sometimes I misinterpret and end up going overboard one way or another in my next relationship. Nonetheless, I do try to learn from all of my experiences in life.
I have come to the conclusion that I should totally be myself. Scars, wounds, insecurities, flaws and all. The “one” will love me, not just in spite of those things, but also (partly) because of them. I also know she is out there (I am a hopeful romantic). She is somewhere.
God, cupid, the cosmos, magnetics, moon wobble, harmonic convergence, or whatever the force that brings two people together is called, will eventually bring us into each other’s lives - or maybe not. You aren’t just going to one day be in Albertson’s and simultaneously reach for the same avocado as someone and realize that she is the one. But then again, you actually might just one day be in Albertson’s and simultaneously reach for the same avocado as someone and realize that she IS the one. It is very hard to meet your soul mate, but when it happens it is actually very easy.
I don’t know when it will happen or even if, but I like to hope that it will. Maybe it already has and I did not recognize it or she did not recognize it. Maybe I am just a short time thing for women. Maybe I am just a launch pad husband/boyfriend for women to end up in a better place. Maybe I just have not taken the right road on my journey yet. Maybe… I don’t know.
What I do know is that I have had happy times in my life with women. Unfortunately when those times end it hurts me very deeply. I am told it is because I love with ALL of myself. (Keep your sexual snickers to yourselves!) I have been told that I give my entire being to my love and I wear my heart on my sleeve (generally) and that is why the end of a relationship is always hard on me.
I like being in love and I believe in giving all of myself to my lover. Ergo, I will not change that aspect of the way I love. I do have to realize that when and if I have another woman in my life that if it ends – it will indeed hurt like a sonovab(*&#. I guess that is the way it goes for me.
For now I will keep my eyes and my heart open for “the” one.
Until Next Time,
Wayne
PS I was going to do something much lighter, but you kids started this train of thought with your comments. Plus, all of the Halloween stuff is on Facebook. ;)
I believe that love is shit and will always hurt no matter what. Makes it less desirable.
ReplyDeleteLove will come when you least expect it. I too was a hopeless romantic...and at one point just hopeless. I became a cynic and from what I can remember you were the one that told me not to stress. That I too would find someone one special one day. That day has come and it's been 9 ridiculously wonderful, blissful years! I am a true believer of love and if you are not supposed to be with a certain person the winds of change will make sure to intervene. It may hurt a while but she too will become a faded memory in a dusty old school book. And your time will come and you too will feel true love-the kind that fills all the holes in your heart and makes the whole world disappear into the background. And all you'll hear is your heart beating...you're alive-for the first time.
ReplyDeleteYou bring me to tears.
ReplyDeleteI admire you for remaining true to yourself and the desire to find the right "one". It is so hard after hurtful experiences to hope and yearn, to remain romantic. Many romantic souls hide away after the pain, too afraid to reach out and trust again. You're beautiful for realizing that you cannot turn off that part of your personality, that it comes with who you are, and you haven't given up on the hope that the "one" for you is still out there.
You seem the sort who truly wishes to fulfill the words of a very wise man, who also happened to be single: "In this way husbands ought to be loving their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself, for no man ever hated his own flesh; but he feeds and cherishes it." I think that's the epitome of romantic sentiment.
Keep shining as who you are; someone out there surely will appreciate your needed intimacy. Wouldn't it be worse to deny yourself of what makes you happy in the relationship? I will hope with you, too. Hope that there is always someone right, somewhere out there, for all of us who are alone and lonely.
Who knows... someday, your situation might change; your goals might change; your eyes might open; and you just might turn around and find the woman of your dreams already standing beside you, as though she'd been waiting for you all the while. She might not be love at first sight, the romantic flower-blossom laden scene of soft wind and music won't play across your mind when you see her. But she just might be the one who will stick with you through thick and thin, who appreciates your grace and gentleness, who adores your desire to protect and your sense of justice, who would understand the strength of her own personal "Batman". She's must be out there; someone like you deserves to have that kind of companion and that kind of love.
Stay beautiful Wayne. You are too precious as you are.
If life gives you avocados...make guacamole....if it turns brown...throw it out and forget about it! There is another fresh avocado at the Albertson's!
ReplyDeleteperhaps the right PERSON will come along they may have been sitting down from you the whole time! Wearing a long beard and taking your jokes!
ReplyDeleteOh. HAR DEE HAR HAR.
ReplyDelete-Wayne
Did someone say guacamole? Mmmm guac!
ReplyDeleteGuac. with chips sounds great! I actually like to add a little lemon so it won't turn brown as fast.
ReplyDeletehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H5c2iTcSlbE
ReplyDeletethe words too. :)
I'm pretty sure that song you wanted was a crowded house song
ReplyDeletehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jXArBZItqGc