Die Hard

WAYNE’S WORDS
Volume 3 Number 9
Die Hard

“Do you know what you get for being a hero? Nothin'. You get shot at. Pat on the back, blah blah blah. 'Attaboy.' You get divorced... Your wife can't remember your last name; kids don't want to talk to you... You get to eat a lot of meals by yourself. Trust me kid, nobody wants to be that guy. [I do this] because there is nobody else to do it right now. Believe me if there was somebody else to do it, I would let them do it. There's not, so [I'm] doing it." – John McClane, Die Hard 4.

Frankly, I just don’t know how McClane did it. Through the 4 Die Hard movies just how many injuries did that character sustain? Hundreds? If you count EVERY nick and scrape, the tally is probably thousands. I just don’t know how he did it.

I know he is a character in a movie. I’m not an idiot. Unlike so many other characters in movies (especially in the action genre) McClane actually feels the pain, and bleeds, and limps, and yelps, and screams, and bitches, and moans. He also keeps fighting. He doesn’t give up. Why not? Because “right” is on his side? Because he is the good guy?

Sometimes it just doesn’t seem that having “right” on his side is enough. He keeps fighting. He keeps shooting. He keeps swinging. For what? To keep getting pummeled? The bad guys don’t get tired. They have more guns. They have more resources. They have more guys. They have more resolve. And McClane? He is stuck crawling through an air conditioning vent lit only by his Zippo with half a clip left in his gun - and on Christmas too!

The bad guys have helicopters, and missiles, and grenades, and C4, and computers, and complete knowledge and control of the situation. McClane has to run across broken glass – while barefoot.

Oh man, I can't f***ing believe this. Another basement, another elevator. How can the same s**t happen to the same guy twice? – John McClane, Die Hard 2.

They keep coming. They keep shooting. Same thing as before just in a different location. McClane gets the business end of the stick again – and still he keeps fighting. He fights against all odds without much help from anybody else. He fights because he knows he is the good guy. He knows what is happening is wrong and needs his immediate attention to correct it. He fights because he has "right" on his side. How does he never quit?

Hi, fellas. Mickey O'Brien, aqueduct security. Hey, listen, we got a report of a guy coming through here with, uh, eight reindeer. (McClane shoots terrorists) Yeah, they said he was a jolly, old, fat guy with a snowy, white beard. Cute little red and white suit. I'm surprised you didn't see him. – John McClane, Die Hard 3.

He keeps his sense of humor. I suspect it is the only thing that keeps him from going insane. Although, as he talks to himself making little jokes, or jokes with a bad guy who is about to blow him away, it does seem that his sanity has left him. It hasn’t. He keeps fighting and joking because he is the good guy and “right" is on his side. It is amazing he doesn’t quit.

If you are looking for a hero or even someone to be a little like (at least a watered down version) I think John McClane might just be the guy.

No matter how much it hurts, how much you bleed, how tired you get, how outnumbered you are - you just gotta keep trying. With “right” on your side you will win. (At least in the movies)

Oh. One more thing:

Yippee-ki-yay, motherf***er. - John McClane, Die Hard.

Until Next Time,

Wayne

PS Son, when you are old enough I will let you watch these movies. Then you will see why I do the things I do and why I am the way I am and the kind of man I strive to be.

The Refreshments

WAYNE’S WORDS
Volume 3 Number 8
The Refreshments

Anyone who knows me really well knows that when I am feeling blue, or angry, or happy, or even a little drunk I go out to my garage. When I get there I pull out my old wireless mic, turn it on, throw in five cds and commence to waking the neighbors.

Lately, I have been feeling pretty much all of those things – hence my neighbors are hating me. Actually the way these homes are built I know they can only hear it when they are out front getting in or out of their cars. When they are in their homes… probably nothing.

I usually sing easy stuff like Rick Springfield (laugh all you want – and I am not gay), Chriss Isaak (my favorite to sing), The Pursuit of Happiness (obscure), Bryan Adams (again – not gay) etc.

The other night when I was feeling particularly one of the aforementioned emotions I pulled out someone I hadn’t in a long time. The Refreshments. You might remember them from their song “Banditos” – it was played on the radio quite a bit for a short while. Also, they wrote and perform the theme song to “King of the Hill.”

The band was from Tempe so all there stuff is very southwestern. Seem to be able to identify with some of the lyrics and themes, unlike stuff that comes from the east or west coast. Anyway, I really like these guys (even though the band is now defunct) and thought I would tell you all to give them a listen.

They have 3 albums: Wheelie (1994), Fizzy, Fuzzy, Big and Buzzy (1996) and The Bottle & Fresh Horses (1997). I only have the last two and really like them. They are fun guitar rock and roll with a few slices of jalapenos. I will leave you with some lyrics of a few of the songs I sing along with. You will see that they are quite witty, tongue in cheek and sometimes a little sad and bitter. (I actually do about 10 of their songs, but this is just a lyrical sampling.)

Tributary Otis (The Bottle & Fresh Horses)

Well I've traveled,
and I've seen the things I built, are working
Workin' to bring me down
And I may be thirsty now
And I will go beyond this thirst
And my tears I cry for you will all go dry
So I lay down on the floor, turn on my radio
Come on River Otis make me cry

CHORUS

'Cause I've been out all night
And I had to give up the fight
So come on River Otis make me cry
Come on River Otis make me cry

Well I've fallen
But I have risen too in what I believe in
Now I see through
And you got thirsty too
So you come to my well
And the only thing you brought was your thousand yard stare
So I lay down on the floor, turn on my radio
Come on River Otis make me cry

CHORUS

Well I've traveled
And I've seen the things I built are working
Workin' to bring me down
Well I aint thirsty no more
I've gone beyond that thirst
And the tears I cried for you, all gone dry

CHORUS out

Down Together (Fizzy, Fuzzy, Big and Buzzy)

We can write our names here in the mud

no ones around to see them.
We can hang our shoes here in a tree

no ones around to steal them.
I could give you a star you could give me one to

and that way we'd be even.
I could sing a song way out of tune

and not care a bit about it.

We could both wear cowboy hats

and pretend that we could speak Italian.
I could eat some gum and make my breath

so minty fresh to kiss you.
Your breath would smell like wine

I like that a lot especially when I kiss you.
I could hit my funny bone real hard

and you could call me sweetheart.

Whoever said there's nothing new out in the sun.
Never thought much about individuals.
But he's dead anyway.

CHORUS

Let's go down together, down together,
Let's go down, together, down together, down together,
let's go down, together, down together,
yea let's go.

We could all wear ripped up clothes

and pretend that we were dead hot workshop.
I could drive a long, long way

and not even have the gas to make it back.
We could chase our shadows around the lawn

until we're both exhausted.
I could forget the words here one more time

and hope that no one notices.

Whoever said there's nothing new out in the sun.
Never thought much about me.

Yea, yea
What's good for you is good for me and
What's bad for you is bad for me.
And what's good for you is good for me and
What's bad for you is bad for me.

Well cars break down and people break down and other things break down too
so let's go...

CHORUS

We could find a speck of dust and scribble down our life story.

Broken Record (The Bottle & Fresh Horses)

Well, I fed your dog while you were on vacation
Covered all your shifts for you operation
But when you got back
You still wouldn't show me your brand new silicone boobs

So I took a walk around my neighborhood
To get you off of my mind like I knew that I ought to
But when I saw a big black van
Run down a bird I had to think about you

CHORUS

But no I'm not a quarterback
I'm not a fireman
Still I can have any girl in Japan
Cause I'm a healthy, hundred and fifty nine pound American boy...
Yeah you tell a story like a broken record and
You tell a story like a broken record and
I tell a story like a broken record but
Still I ain't jealous of the fellas like you, like anyway

So you took another guy on that Caribbean cruise
While I stayed home and cried into my bottle of pills but
When you got back
You didn't even have yourself a tan cause you stayed in your room

So I fed your dog while you were out of town and
I mowed your lawn when you wasn't around but
When you got back
You had the nerve to ask me if I had gone through some your clothes

CHORUS out

Really, if you like fun guitar rock and roll, give ‘em a listen.

Until Next Time,

Wayne