Theme Song Void

WAYNE’S WORDS
Volume 2 Number 16
Theme Song Void

Today one of my co-workers and I were discussing some random thing that led us to talking about the Brady Bunch which led to me singing the theme song. Then we wondered – What the hell ever happened to theme songs? They now seem to be pretty much nonexistent.

Sure, we all know the first stings of that annoying American Idol song… actually maybe that is all there is to that one. That’s the thing. I can’t remember. You have to admit that if there were one current theme song we as a television viewing society should be able to hum it would be that one. The dang show is only on 400 nights a week. How could you miss it? But, alas, we just know those irritating staccato beginning notes.

I can remember and identify the countdown clock from 24, but that is all. Does Heroes have a theme song? I watch it and I don’t even know. What about Lost? I truly think that there is a theme song void out there. I also know why.

It must have been some time in the 90s that we again cut down the actual lengths of TV shows. More advertising dollars needed to be made, so more room was made for commercials. While this is good for the economy and certain Account Executives’ pocketbooks, it really hurts the writers all the way down to us lowly viewers. The writers have to cram more and more exciting stuff to grab our attention into less and less time. When we viewers do find something that we really like we get less of it. It is almost like a stupid, forced diet. This trimming of time “fat” is why the opening credits of a show are often on screen as the show actually begins and why there is still that little bit of “extra” show (especially in sitcoms) along with the closing credits. There is just no time for the theme song anymore!

They have trimmed TV shows before and one would hope that they don’t again… but they have already done it! Yes they have! Those annoying little web-isodes or what ever the hell they are called. I have seen them on the inter-web (curse you, Al Gore!) oh wait…that is where this blog is… well, curse you, Al Gore anyway. Heroes is doing something like that and it is supposed to lead us into this upcoming next season. Argh!!!!! I have even seen net-isodes of TV shows and they chop them up and just give you the highlights! Double argh! Don’t just tease me, let’s go all the way, baby!

I am not angry, really. I just feel a little gypped (that may actually be a slur… I don’t know). I just miss the meat of my shows and I do miss the theme songs.

• The Addams Family
• Gilligan’s Island
• Green Acres
• All In The Family
• The Brady Bunch
• Happy Days
• The Jeffersons
• Laverne and Shirley
• The Mary Tyler Moore Show
• The Muppet Show
• Welcome Back Kotter
• The Love Boat
• Three’s Company
• Bosom Buddies
• WKRP in Cincinnati
• Cheers
• Diff’rent Strokes
• Dukes of Hazzard
• The Facts of Life
• Family Ties
• The Golden Girls
• Greatest American Hero
• Mad About You
• Married With Children
• Firefly
• Oh Yeah! Saved By The Bell

Even many of the lyric-less theme songs were cool

• I Love Lucy
• The Lone Ranger
• Leave It To Beaver
• The Andy Griffith Show
• Batman
• Gomer Pyle, U.S.M.C.
• Hogan’s Heroes
• I Dream of Jeannie
• The Munsters
• The Odd Couple
• The Waltons
• Seinfeld
• And even Beverly Hills, 90210

Have fun getting these theme songs stuck in your head.

Until Next Time,
Wayne

PS Have I ever told you people how much I miss Firefly?

THE DARK KNIGHT RETURNS

WAYNE’S WORDS
Volume 2 Number 15
THE DARK KNIGHT RETURNS

The last comment on my Dark Knight blog read as follows:

“You are so cynical. I hope not everyone is like you or the criminals/villains won already. And you can just hide under your bed, instead of trying to make a difference.”

I take a certain level of offense to that statement. I don’t know that I was actually being cynical I look at more as being realistic. I will concede the cynicism point, however. I don’t want to argue semantics. I am actually too stupid to do so.

I will however argue the hiding under the bed and not trying to make a difference part of the statement. That is the last thing I do. I’m no superhero and I do not wear a cape (except on very special occasions). I do, however (just like all of the people with whom I associate), do my very best to do the right thing. Until the X-Men like mutants arise or until someone from a planet with a red sun lands here or until some multi-billionaire decides to train and don a cowl and cape - that is all that we regular citizens can do.

The things I do are small and often go unnoticed, but they are generally good things.

• I am honest in by business dealings,
• If I see a nail or screw in the road, I will pick it up so no one gets a flat tire,
• I honk at animals near the thoroughfare to scare them away from traffic,
• I hold doors open for people,
• I pick drunk friends up from the bar,
• I help people reach things off the top shelf in Wal-Mart,
• I help push stalled vehicles out of intersections,
• I am in Search and Rescue,
• I smile at children,
• I don’t spit my gum on the sidewalk,
• I try to be a good father to my son,
• I make people laugh.

I am sure there are other things that I (and Billions of other people) do, but that is just a small sampling. Some of the things are small and stupid, some are bigger. I think they all matter or I wouldn’t do them.

This list is not supposed to be a resume of nice things that I do, nor do I want kudos for any of it. I just want you to know that these are things that we normal guys do to try and make the world a little better place. I think that if even more people – oh, how does that bumper sticker read?- “Practice(d) Random Acts of Kindness and Senseless Acts of Beauty,” the world would be a better place.

Calling me a coward accomplishes nothing and actually tips the scale in the wrong direction. I don’t mind being called cynical – maybe I am. My rose colored glasses were broken long ago.

When the holiday season rolls around and someone tries to get in a fist fight with you because you took “their” parking space at the mall, maybe you will realize that my cynicism is a little bit more realistic that you originally thought.

Until Next Time,

Wayne

PS How about that Michael Phelps?!?! Go USA!

PPS We will miss you Issac Hayes and Bernie Mac. Thank You and Rest In Peace.