Volume 2 Number 09
Arch of Pain
As I told you we had a great time on vacation. The Boy was a little angel and the Girlfriend was a perfect companion. We had no problems, until…
We left
We decided to take a few country roads down to
Before we hit
45 miles before we got to
The good part about the rain was that the Gateway Arch was not jam-packed with people. So, we pulled into the entrance to the garage and grabbed our parking ticket. As we entered the structure and the barricade arm dropped behind our car I said, “I sure hope they take cards because we spent the last few cash bucks at that store.”
“I’m sure they do,” said the Girlfriend. “Let me see the ticket. Everybody takes cards.”
We pulled to the top level of the garage and parked the car. A cacophony of complaints from the passenger and back seats about how it was raining so hard and we were going to get soaked was quickly silenced as I pulled two compact umbrellas from beneath my seat. Dad thinks of everything.
We opened our umbrellas and walked over to the Arch. What a marvel. It is really keen looking. We didn’t get to see the sun glinting off of its polished stainless steel exterior, but we did get to see the water cascade down the smooth sides. It was very pretty.
We walked down inside the base of the structure. After passing through the equivalent of airport security, we had more things at which to marvel. There were gift shops, an ice cream shop, a museum about the westward exploration of Lewis and Clark and of course the trams to the top.
“I have to go to the bathroom,” said the Girlfriend.
The Boy and I stood there chatting for what seemed like an eternity.
“So? You guys ready to go to the top?” I asked upon the Girlfriend’s return.
“It’s so rainy we won’t be able to see anything,” said the Girlfriend.
“It takes a whole hour,” explained the Boy. “Plus, I saw it on the Science Channel.”
I grunted and said, “OK. Well, let’s go to the muse…”
“My purse!” The Girlfriend shrieked and bolted towards the bathroom. “I lost my purse!”
She quickly emerged from the lavatory. “It wasn’t in there!”
“Honey. Honey. HONEY! Calm down. Where was the last place you saw it?”
“I don’t know,” she answered in a panic.
“Dad, she didn’t put it through the x-ray machine at the security gate,” the boy explained. “It wasn’t in the tray when it came out. Just your belt and stuff.”
“See there, honey. It’s in the car. So, let’s go learn about Lewis and Clark in the Muse…”
“I have to go make sure or I will freak out. You boys go to the museum”
“OK. I understand. C’Mon, boy.”
“I’ll go with her. I’m tired and my socks are wet,” complained the Boy.
“GRRRRRRRRR!” I was irritated! “Well I stopped here to experience this and by golly… I will see you two back at the car! Be careful.”
As they trekked back to the car, I spent a nice quiet hour “enjoying” the Gateway Arch. I took pictures of EVERY exhibit in the museum. I bought items from the gift shop with my Visa debit card. I even took the time to walk down to the river in the rain to get exterior photos of the arch. I had fun!
I cooled off somewhat as I walked back to the car in the rain. It was actually kind of nice. I entered the car and was immediately overwhelmed by the smell of the Boy’s wet socks. Stinky!
“How was it?” asked the Girlfriend.
“It was awesome!” I sarcastically replied. “You guys missed so much cool stuff!”
As we discussed the wonders that I had seen while they waited in the car, I began digging change out of the ashtray and counting it. I had realized on the walk back that there was no way that the Gateway Arch Parking Garage was going to take a Visa debit card. Not with the way the day was panning out. If nothing else I would be prepared in the event that they didn’t.
“Six dollars!” I exclaimed as I finished counting. “at least it is all silver and I didn’t have to bust into the pennies. OK. Hand me the ticket.”
“What ticket?”
“The parking ticket I handed to you as we pulled in.”
“You didn’t hand me any ticket”
Gritting my teeth, “Yes I did. You wanted to read it to see if it had a Visa logo.”
“I gave it back”
Teeth grinding, “No you didn’t.”
“Dad, I didn’t take the ticket,” interjected the Boy.
Gnashing, “I KNOW!” Calming myself, “Everybody look for it, please.”
As we sat in the car in the rain on the top level of the parking structure we looked through our respective areas to no avail!
I grumpily started the vehicle and drove down to one of the lower levels so we could get out and open up the vehicle for a better search. Nothing!
“They don’t need the ticket, honey. They just need the money.” The Girlfriend explained to me.
“Then why would they give us a ticket!? I know! I will just go get us another one.”
I then drove over to the entrance and walked up to the box that spits out the ticket and I hit the button. No ticket. There must be a weight under the pavement. I tried jumping on the weight and pressing the button, but could not get the damned machine to spit out the golden ticket! Argh!
“OK. Let’s just go explain to the guy and pay and leave.” I said.
We pulled up to the exit gate and I asked the guy if they take Visa Debit cards.
“No, sir, just cash.”
“OK. Here you go. Six bucks. Sorry, it is all change,” I said.
“That’s OK, sir. Ticket please,’ dutifully stated the attendant.
I explained to him that it had disappeared and he explained to me that he could not process us out without the ticket.
“OK,” I said as I grumpily glanced sideways at the Girlfriend.
The attendant motioned for the line of cars behind me to back up (I could almost hear the people moan) so that I could retreat into the structure in hopes of finding the now seemingly non-existent ticket.
I pulled into a parking space and got all personnel out of the vehicle.
“I gave it to you, honey. You read the ticket. Then you did something with it. But what?”
I let my investigative mind go to work. I had been trained by all the best: Magnum P.I., Perry Mason, Simon and Simon and Quincy. How could I not recreate the crime and get to the bottom of it?
“You must have put it someplace that seemed so natural to you that it was a non-event and you easily forgot it. Someplace like…”
“What does it look like, Dad?” asked the Boy.
I reached in the pocket of THE GIRLFRIEND'S door and pulled out several CDs, wads of gum wrappers and other miscellaneous trash and…
“It was about this big,” I explained, “and it was the color of a file folder. It looked a lot like…this!”
I pulled it out of the bottom of THE GIRLFRIEND'S door pocket! It was in the nether reaches of the cubby as if it had been there for six months!
“GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! GET IN!”
Screech! I pulled back up to the attendant’s booth. “I FOUND IT! Did we give you enough money?!!!!!!!”
The attendant looked somewhat frightened and a shakily said “I’m sure it’s fine, sir.”
We left the parking garage and drove for miles and miles in silence.
Much later I said, “The Gateway Arch sure was incredible.” The other two in the car began to snicker and we then all enjoyed a good laugh.
Until Next Time,
