Hike!

WAYNE’S WORDS
Volume 1 Number 4
Hike!

I had lunch with a couple of the Big Heads today.

Oh… sorry. Big Heads is what my core group of friends and I have called our collective self since college. Actually we have all known at least one other member of the Big Heads since grade school, but in college we decided (probably during some beer influenced conversation) to give ourselves a name. The name has also been somewhat perverted over the years by various individuals. One of the Big Heads actually referred to us as the Super Friends one night after one too many beers. My mother has always, inexplicably referred to us as the Round Heads. And recently a co-worker of mine made mention of my friends by asking me about the Fat Heads. Anyway, we are the Big Heads whether we like it or not.

I had lunch with a couple of the Big Heads today and at one point the topic of conversation turned to football. A couple of us are joining a Fantasy Football League because our (the Big Heads’) league disbanded last year. ARGH!

Man, I was sad that day. We had our Hibachi Football League for 16 or 17 years. We even had a traveling, miniature replica of the Lombardi Trophy that was made out of dental gold (thanks Dr. Hadley). Our league was around before you could go online and instantly get stats and info and such – we actually used newspapers and figured all the stuff out ourselves. We had a simple yet competitive system, but it worked and we liked it.

As Big Heads started moving away one of us poor saps would be appointed commissioner and that sucker would research, layout, publish and mail the scores and stats to every Hibachi team owner by Tuesday morning. It was hard work and a little time consuming, but it sure was fun. It was also a great way to keep in touch with all of the Big Heads.

Then the internet and ubiquitous access to same exploded onto the scene. Was the HFL gonna be awesome now or what? Or what! For some reason, even with access to everything instantaneously (including an HFL website) the majority of the Big Heads suddenly didn’t have time and the league evaporated.

Here is the eMail I sent out to the Big, Round, Super, Fat Head Friends last year when I found out the league was about to be no more.

WARNING: The following is an eMail rant so read at your own risk – you may actually get offended…or not.

Things [our fantasy football league] seemed to be perceived as so much easier (and there seemed to be so much more interest) before the Internet. I personally like the web based action [of our fantasy football league] and like the way it works, but then again I have no life and it is part of what I look forward to every year. Let me know what is up. I would hate to see this die, but I guess there are other fantasy football clubs out there. It was cool that ours was one of the longest running [16 or 17 years!]. Maybe all good things come to an end. Gosh I hope not. How come this feels like a marriage dying? Cheating b****es!! LOL I'm funneeee I make at least me laugh. Hello? Is this thing on??? I wish I was as funny as you guys. Maybe I should wax my body. Wax on Wax off. I miss Mr. Miagi or whatever his name was. He was great on Happy Days. Ralph Malph really did "still got it." Man he was the bee's knees. He was no Potsie, but then again who would wanna be. If you wannabe my lover better check...I wish the Spice Girls had never happened. Whadda pain in my a**. Trying to decide which Spice Girl was the hottest one. That "Baby Spice" kind of disturbed me. Maybe she should have called herself "Private College-Girl Spice" at least it wouldn't be such a pedophile-esque feeling for those who thought she was the hot one...gross. Wonder how old I will live to be? I hope really old so I can b***h a lot and people will say how cute he is when he doesn't get his prunes. I hate prunes. Man I gotta poop. Poop. What a fun word. Not as fun as pooper or even pooper-scooper. Alice Cooper was really cool in concert last night. [ed. Note I had obviously just seen Alice Cooper the Night before] Doesn't anybody wanna come out and play??

This whole thing (I just realized) is less about Fantasy Football and more about a commodity that is in high demand: time. We only have so much of it and once it has passed we cannot get it back. And for such a valuable commodity it is probably the most wasted.

Make sure to take time each day to communicate with the people you care about. Take time to call an old friend just to tell them the fantasy team they had sucked. Take time to send an eMail to your buddy (no "stoopid" forwards without a personalized reason for sending it) about, heck I don’t know, how danged hot it is today.

The reason or the content matters so much less than the time you took to communicate with them. Your friends and family (near and far) are all that really count and if you cannot squeeze a few moments out of your oh-so-important and busy schedule then…well, I don’t know… good luck.

Until Next Time,
Wayne

PS You want homework? Go call an old friend you haven’t spoken to in years…it’ll be neat.